


Every Copy is Pasturized

by DeprestAFconnoisseur64



Category: Super Mario & Related Fandoms, Super Mario 64, Super Mario Bros. (Video Games)
Genre: Apocalypse, Clones, Crack, Dark Crack, Funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:54:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26296747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeprestAFconnoisseur64/pseuds/DeprestAFconnoisseur64
Summary: Kamek reveals his best invention yet.An invention that goes awry.
Kudos: 3





	Every Copy is Pasturized

"Tra-la-LAAAAA!" Kamek sung, revealing what was his most innovative and impressive work of magic that he had conjured: an old video game cartridge. Although he just held it up in the air dramatically, to no one. This garnered the attention of his temporary henchman.

"Uhh.. Boss are 'ya sure 'dis is gonna work?" a Drybones asked. Kamek quickly turned his head to the side angrily.

"Yes, it WILL. Once that fathead Wario sees it, he'll want to be rich off of it... little does everyone know that this game is actually... AN EVIL ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE!!!" The Koopa laughed maniacally.

"And... just HOW it 'dat evil?" Drybones questioned. There was an evil AI in this game but... how did it work?

"This game personalizes itself to its owner. When you play through it far enough, an evil version of yourself comes through the game and WREAKS HAVOC!" Kamek yelled at Drybones' face, trying to scare him. The skeletal Koopa only stared at Kamek with a bored look.

"Boss... just go back to 'da 2010s, 'dey had a 'lotta games like 'dat, they call 'dem 'creepypastas'?" Drybones raised an eyebrow, not getting the super outlandish concept. Before Kamek could talk back, Drybones spoke his word again, "Oh, and what happens if... 'da wrong person picks up 'da game?"

Kamek WANTED to answer, to talk trash about Drybones' criticism... but couldn't. What if someone who wasn't Wario DID pick up the cartridge? God only knows what could go wrong. "You're right... b-but don't worry! Wario's been visiting the Peach's Castle recently and I KNOW he's gonna see it!" He exclaimed with DETERMINATION. Drybones only rolled his eyes.

* * *

Kamek laid the game cartridge on the ground in front of the castle bridge. He then flew away on his broomstick, out of sight. A lone Toad peeked out of the castle's entrance, then ran to the game lying on the ground and picked it up, exclaiming loudly "CHIEF I GOT THE GAME BECAUSE PLOT CONVENIENCE BOOT UP THE N64!!!" Toad immediately ran back inside, Toadette joining him as they rushed to the Rec Room. They put the game in the N64, and the large flat screen TV rimmed to life.

The game played as normal. Mario's stretchy head greeted them, they battled King Bob-Omb, everything went well... until they got to the castle's basement. They had enough Power Stars to unlock the door to the second Bowser battle, but when they entered the long hallway...

The music slowed down. A giant toad slowly faded in. "BUP WARNING! A BUP HAS BEEN DETECTED!" The Toad Apparition yelled. Toad and Toadette screamed as a large alarm sounded on the TV, with a large timer showing with red numbers. They ran around the room in circles as the countdown continued, "BEE-DOH BEE-DOH BEE-DOH!!"

"WARNING, BUP SHALL BE EXTERMINATED IN T-MINUS *10* SECONDS!" 

"AAHHH WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!" Toadette screamed at Toad.

"I DON'T KNOW, THROW HAM SALAD AT IT!" Toad screamed. They both got some disgusting ham salad from the kitchen and started throwing the bowls of it at the TV. 

That's when all Hell broke loose.

_**"THOU SHALL NOT THROW HAM SALAD AT YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR!!"** _The Toad Apparition snarled. Toads suddenly started pouring out of the large TV. They flew out of the drawers. They grew out of the paper of Peach's old drawings. ALL of them were screaming and exclaiming happily. Toad and Toadette screamed as they rushed out of the room and into the massive kitchen. 

"QUICK, GET MORE HAM SALAD!!" Toad yelled, getting out bowls and a bunch of salad accessories. 

"WE'RE ALL OUT N'AAAAAHH!!!" Toadette threw the fridge out the window, breaking the glass of it in the process.

"THEN MAKE SOME WE GOT AN APOCALYPSE HERE!!" Toad yelled, but then hushed when he realized, Toadette already trashed the fridge. "Well, crap..."

Toads poured into the room, taking the original two over very easily.

* * *

Kamek huffed, large earmuffs on his head. Toads were playing all over the place, climbing up the walls and tinkering with Kamek's experiments. Drybones, who also had earmuffs, looked at Kamek angrily.

"Told 'ya, Boss."


End file.
